At Dusk, I Will Think of You
by ForbiddenKHfan216
Summary: Xion and Axel are splitting apart; Xion says her good byes.


_You said it would be alright._

 _You smiled at me and promised that no matter what, you'd be the one to go get me back. Maybe I was just stupid enough to believe that. Maybe I was dumb enough to believe in someone else's promise. I don't know why I did. I guess I just really wanted to believe you. That you loved me back the same way that I loved you. That you would never hurt me, not ever._

 _After so many years, I_ _ **really**_ _should have known better._

Xion smiled briefly before turning away. Axel's hand dropped from her shoulder and without even looking back, she could tell that he was both fuming with rage and trying not to burst into tears.

"So that's _it_?" He demanded with a savage snarl. "You're just giving up?"

 _What's the point of explaining?_

 _What is the point of repeating the same thing over and over? You won't listen. I keep saying the same thing. I don't remember the last time you did. The words choke me every single time but you make me say them over and over. You don't seem to care that they do, as long as I explain. Do you care that it hurts?_

 _I wish I knew._

Xion nodded once and turned to face him just in time to see Axel close his eyes. He looked as if he'd been slapped. No, as if he had been betrayed. … Because he had been and they both knew it.

"You promised that you'd never leave," Axel snapped but the fight had left him. There was only the sadness left and that was enough to make her stop. "You don't have to do this. I'm better now. I'm… not hurting anymore. You don't have to go."

 _I'm sorry. I truly am. You don't know how much I'm going to regret this. You don't know how bad I'm actually crying. You don't know how much I want to_ _ **believe**_ _._

"I have to go now," Xion said firmly. She spun on her heel, turning away again. She had no idea how she was able to keep her voice steady or how it sounded so forceful. "You know why I have to, I've said it before."

 _I really have._

"I'm not able to stay here anymore, Axel," She continued and she could almost feel her voice growing sharper. "It's not going to work anymore."

 _It's not your fault. It's not your fault, I promise. It's mine. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you have no idea how I'm sorry. Please, please don't feel sad anymore. I'm begging you._

"Why?" He asked, almost whispering it.

He sounded so miserable that that single word seemed to weigh a thousand pounds.

"I'm sorry."

 _I really am._

Axel scoffed just loud enough for her to hear. The noise made her flinch and then, grow angry.

"I came back but you don't care," Axel snapped, though even this was subdued and weak without his usual anger. "I'm better now but you don't care. You don't even want to remember the good times, do you? All it is for you is the hurt?"

 _Yes. But you don't care._

"What does that matter?"

 _I don't even know if you care that I got hurt; not as long as you ended up being innocent. The you in those happy memories is gone. I keep waiting to see my friend but I keep see someone else in his place. I don't even know who you are… only what you want me to see._

"Yes!" Axel yelled.

 _I miss my friend._

"Sorry," Xion said curtly. She didn't like her voice. She didn't like how much of an ice queen she was acting… but she didn't dare drop the mask. "I can't help you."

 _Please give him back. Please give my friend back. I just want my friend back, I just want us to get better, I don't really want to go._

"Then what are you going to do?" Axel muttered and then she heard the sound of his boot scraping against concrete. "What are you going to do in a locked up little world?"

 _I'll be free… but I won't have you. My friend is gone… and I'm walking away because I know he won't need me anymore._

"I guess I'm just going to close those doors then, Axel." Xion retorted back venomously.

 _Maybe you'll finally be happy… a lot happier than when you were stuck with me. After all… in only a little while, you'll forget even my name. Maybe you'll remember me as the mask and hate it. If you do, you won't come back. I'm… actually alright with that. It's not that bad of a little world, you know? Maybe it'll grow. Maybe it can be alright… when I remember… I wonder where you'll be?_

"Then I guess… I'm just going to have to… pretend you never existed." The whispered sentence felt more like an insult, even though they're spoken with more regretful finality that she had ever heard in her life.

 _That's fine. You don't have to know anymore. You don't have to know that your face is the one I see in my dreams. You don't need to know that when I wake up, I can barely stop myself from crying because you're not there. But I have to escape. If I cry here with you, I'll never be able to heal. Didn't you know that I'm the kind of person who puts on an angry face to hide the fact that my heart is broken? After all these years, have you forgotten me?_

 _I'm not indifferent, no matter what you've said. I'm just not willing to break your heart along with mine. If you know that this sucks just as much for me as it does for you, then clearly I've let you in and I just can't have that. I'd rather you hate me than be sad. Even if it means giving up all that makes me **me** , it's alright as long as you're okay. It's a new start for me and you... even if I don't like it. This apathetic avatar is the only thing that I can even salvage... Heh. That makes me sick. _

"Good bye, Axel. I hope you're happy soon." Xion said in a quiet voice, a brief smile the only thing that she could offer up in comfort as she started to walk away.

 _I really do pray you'll be happy._


End file.
